I was very lucky with my parents, who had invested in a new building and by my eighteenth birthday they had a ready-made apartment that I could move into. I had wanted to try living alone since my first year of university, though I literally missed my parents from day one. I was also a little afraid to live alone in an apartment – I was always imagining something, and sometimes the bathroom door that was swinging in the draught could give me a heart attack.
This and the feeling of loneliness prompted me to suggest that my former classmate and good friend to move in with me. After going to different universities, we didn’t have much time to socialize, and living together seemed like a great idea to me. We could share the rent, have friendly gatherings, and socialize like before. Sarah happily supported my idea.
We started living together and initially everything was fine. It was a perfect life, where we went to school together and cooked dinners, but when I got a boyfriend at the end of my freshman year, it was like Sarah became superfluous. I wanted to bring my boyfriend home to be alone, and Sarah would be there waiting for us, cranky if we made any noise or watched a movie on her laptop while she studied.
I didn’t understand my friend’s dislike of my boyfriend. I thought she was jealous of me, since we were hanging out less often. But when my boyfriend broke up with me and a week later I caught him making out with Sara outside our house, everything fell into place. My friend duped me for some guy. And I thought it was an unspoken rule of best friends not to date exes.
I couldn’t pretend I didn’t know about anything. I asked Sara if it was okay for her to do this to me and was confronted with boorishness. She said that the heart wants what the heart wants and that the guy wasn’t right for me at all. And because my resentment wouldn’t let go, Sarah started some kind of ridiculous war. My makeup was disappearing, things were disappearing, and even food from the fridge.
I know it’s Sarah’s doing, but I can’t ask her directly-it’s embarrassing, feeling helpless. I don’t want to live with her anymore, but I can’t kick her out myself either-she’ll think it’s because of some guy. And I am just uncomfortable and scared to live, not knowing what my friend is up to and will throw out or eat without my knowledge, trying to ruin my mood.
My parents refuse to help. They say I’m an adult and I should have thought before I called Sara over. My mother’s favorite slip of the tongue: “I told you not to let her stay with you for free!
But what’s done is done. It’s all about the past. Now how do you make sure you have a normal future with your sworn friend?